up against the wall ♥

.January 14, 2006 ' 23:11 Y

hello one and all. havent blog for quite sometime now. miss me? heh. i miss blogging. well.. days have been the same. full of shit.emonating emonating all the way. well. except for friday the 13th! movie drive-in and all the good people around. lets start blogging. hhmm.

well i dont need to go through every single day in details. lets talk about the good thing first. went for movie drive-in on friday with roxane gloria dwayne colin janan. they were showing mr & mrs smith. i hate that movie. but it was really cool. its like playing cs LIVE in the house with real guns and grenades. (nudges dwayne) only that its against the person you really love. HOW NICE! ouh. and angelina jolie is damn HOT! OUH! and i just found out that she's pregnant with brad pitt's baby?! omg. just imagine. when the baby comes out, they name their baby barbeque. den the baby's fullname will be barbeque pitt! LOL! ok. shit. that was shit. x) anyway.. had fun but loads and loads of emo stuff going on. LOADS i tell ya. tears laughters jokes secrets love shits pain. all. and in the middle of it. karen and sean joined us. we went to the beach after that. the moon was like WHOAH! its FULL MOON!!!*grins* and the STARS were brilliant. (: pretty pretty. love it. but sad. the beach was so cooling and nice. i was freezing though i was wearing a jacket. had a great time with wonderful people. SIGH.

den TODAY i went to meet puny. i was bored-ing at home. stayed home the whole day cuz i was too lazy to go out. i didnt have the mood at all. but i needed to get some fresh air. puny met me down my block. went to central to pei her makan den went to get her bag. after that we walked to whiteSANDS to get milk. walked around for awhile den we walked back home. i kept sighing and screaming and growling. i was going all kuku and peanuts. pei-ed her till her bus came. stayed at the bustop for awhile to wait for the moon to rise really high. enjoyed the company of the stars and moon as i walked home. and here i am now at home in my boxer and jacket sobernating and emonating listening to emo songs and blasting crazy music at 11.45pm with the doors of my room tightly shut and the windows wide open for the moon & STARS to shine. i still feel like shit. sigh. i'f i were to shoot myself i'd carve YOUR name on the bullet so that the world would know that youre the last thing that goes through my mind. what am i suppose to do. should i sit. wait for you. listen to me screamin more."why cant we be together right now?" hah! bullshit. thinking of it just kills me like crazy. emo emo emo. all hope is gone. i cant keep lying to myself. when i cant pretend anymore, i'll just stop. think. and cry. its been a really long time since i had a good long cry anyway. i think. yea it stinks. it stinks really bad. well. it felt good having someone so near. oh ya. i just remembered. youre my fear. enough bullshit and crap for the day. its long enough already. goodnight lovelies.

she wanted care ; you gave her hope
she wanted love ; you gave her pain
she wanted smiles ; you gave her stares
she wanted truth ; you gave her lies
she wanted light ; you gave her darkness
she wanted someone ; you left her alone

takemeaway